Dear Dotty Answers Bride & Groom Attire Etiquette Questions

Question: Dear Dorothy

My fiance and I are planning a white wedding. We have booked a nuptial mass at St. Austin’s Catholic Church Muthangari. The church ceremony is scheduled to start at 11 am.

Now, I am concerned about the attire we will be wearing and I am not sure that it will be appropriate for such a formal event. My boyfriend of three years wants to wear his favourite jeans, a pair of patent leather shoes and (please do not laugh) his old St. Mary’s Senior school blazer. He says it has brought him a lot of luck in passing exams and debate club speeches.

I, the bride want to wear my mum’s wedding dress, which we all love. The dress is a frilly number that does not quite reach the ground. She got married in the 1990's.

Kindly advice us on the best choices to make for me, my sweetheart and the rest of the wedding party.

Best regards

Mary Ndirangu, Lavington, Nairobi, Kenya

Answer: Dear Mary,

Thank you for your letter. It reads as if you are planning a formal daytime wedding. The traditional attire to wear to such an event is as follows:

The Bride, Maid of Honour/Best Maid, Brides Maids and Flower Girls

The bride traditionally wears a floor length gown/dress which is either white or off white in colour. This gown/dress should be worn with a train and a veil. Shoes most appropriate for a formal floor length gown/dress are closed white pumps. Jewelry for this gown/dress should be kept to a minimum. Wear pearl stud earrings, a simple one line pearl necklace and your engagement ring. You can choose another stone that you love.

Alternatively, you could choose to wear this Princesa Lace Ball Gown wedding dress that has beaded flower applique, a chapel train. This dress is vintage and will match the time and period of St. Austin's Catholic Church, Nairobi

The rest of the wedding party led by the Maid of Honour/Best Maid, Brides Maids and Flower girl should also all wear floor length gowns/dresses. They may be a colour of your or their choice, but they must all be the same colour. This also applies to their shoes which should be closed pumps.

Advise the two mothers to buy long dresses. Hats are appropriate for this formal wedding. Gloves are optional.

The Groom, Man of Honour/Best Man, Ushers and Ring Bearer

The groom and his men traditionally all wear the same attire. For a formal wedding a grey classic cutaway coat, a white shirt with a turn-down collar, grey stripped trousers, grey vest with a matching tie and a pair of patent leather shoes. Wearing a top hat for the groom is optional. You can gains inspiration from the 2015 grooms collection designed by Victorio and Lucchino. He can also refer to fashion designer Fuente Capala.

The grooms men/ushers and the fathers may choose to wear the same coloured shirts or they can choose another one. However, all the grooms men/ushers shirts must be the exact same colour, shade and style.

You may also consider the architecture and period of the Church, which you could use to design the overall theme of your wedding. St. Austin’s Catholic Church has a lot of Jacobean style woodwork and carvings. The glass windows also illustrate birds and nature for each saint.

If you want, you could reflect this time in art history which was influenced by Chinese, pastel shades, and the use of birds and flora in the flowers, the wedding cake, your gown, the wedding parties attire and in your head wear. We have included some pictures for you to get started on planning the wedding day you have always dreamed of.

Best regards

Doris W. Njoroge

Certified Wedding Specialist WBW