Dotty Answers Flower Girl Etiquette Question

Dear Dorothy

I hope you are well. My name is Nancy. I am writing to you from Ol Kalau in Nyandarua County. I am a born again Christian and my husband to-be is a “Mukurino.” We are planning a small wedding with a ceremony in our local church. We will have a party at the groom’s home thereafter.

My question is in regards to the flower girls. I had chosen my sisters cute five year old daughter. My best friend, who is my matron of honour also has a daughter. She is four years old and she has begged me to let her child be the flower girl in the procession.

We have been friends since we were in Standard Four and have helped each other in many circumstances. On the other hand, I love my sister and her family so much. I am torn between choosing one child from the other as I do not want to hurt either one of them. What is the best way to handle this dilemma?

Nancy Kinyua & Dedan Kimuru

Dear Nancy & Dedan

I am very fine and thank you for asking.

Family members and close friends are those people who have been there for us when things were going well and also when we were facing difficulties in our lives. They are the ones who have supported us in good times as well as in bad times and have never left us, disowned us nor turned their backs on us. That is why we ask such people to honour us by being members of our wedding parties.

To show how much you appreciate your sister as well as your best friend, you can choose to do either one of the following things:-

1. Have two processions – one at the Church and another one at the Reception. Assign each flower girl the duty of sprinkling flower petals from a basket down the aisle as you walk to the altar and as you walk to your seat at the reception. This way both will have places of equal honour at your wedding;

2. The second option is this. Have the two flower girls dressed exactly the same, with the same flower basket and petals. Have both of them walk down the aisle towards the altar hand in hand, sprinkling flower petals either together or alternatively as you proceed towards your future husband who will be waiting for you at the altar.

Whatever choice you choose, I wish you both happiness and joy in your new life as a married couple.

Best regards

Doris W. Njoroge

Certified Wedding Specialist.